That is likely what your thinking. Did she die? Is that why the blogging stopped? I HAVE MISSED YOU.
Luckily for all of us, I am still currently breathing. I’m dreadfully sorry for the huge break since my last post. Here is a pretty picture of fruit to incline you toward forgiving me.
Am I forgiven? Or do we need artificial sugar? How about some ice cream?
Well, at least let me explain myself.
So, our home computer broke. This, this is not good when you run a blog. And trying to blog on your phone is… Well its complicated when you have fat fingers. Which I do. However! I wanted to update everyone. And because I’m sick and working part time, and buying a computer is the financial equivalent of buying a new body part, I can’t afford one. Unless of course, I sell my own body parts. The problem is, I don’t want to go through all the trouble of putting my body parts on craigslist only to find out that no one wants them because they are damaged goods. Nobody wants a sick girls body parts. I can’t handle the rejection. But, I suppose that’s a good thing. No one will try to kill me for my kidneys.
But lets move on, shall we? Things were getting better. And then, they got worse again. But, I’m hoping this is like one of those times when you’re trying to loose weight and you loose 50 pounds, then gain 10, and then stay at that weight for a year while you’re still trying to loose weight. It’s infuriating. Those plateau’s, as they call them. And if you’re a skinny minnie who doesn’t have any idea what I’m talking about:
A.)I hate you. (because I’m jealous)
B.)Why are you reading a food blog that is 90% sugar? That’s just masochism.
As I was saying, things got better.
I can scarcely believe it myself. But they are better, even on my worst days. My energy level is very, very slowly moving up. I still move like a sloth, but I move. So that’s like… huge. Matter of fact, because I’m all the sudden moving so much more I’m starting to realize just how out of shape I am from all the years of being sedentary. I’m like… Itching to exercise. Which is hysterical because I HATE EXCERSISE. But I’m telling you, even things you hate become things you want desperately the sec0nd your told you can’t do them. I don’t want to run the mile, but the second you tell me its something I’ll never be able to do again, I’m devastated. Tell me I can’ eat raw meat? Ya okay, that’s going to far.
My doctor, who’s not exactly a doctor- more a naturopath? He’s totally rocking this healing business.
There is some really great things happening. I’m feeling better.
For a while there, My pain had gone from a 9-10 to a 4-5 on a regular basis. My energy had skyrocketed. I was actually living my life to at least some extent.
The pain has gone back up, and the exhaustion too for what I hope is a short time, but I’m reading again, which I haven’t been able to do for a while because of burning eyes, or exhaustion. I’m spending time with my friends again. Occasionally going to church events. And the best part ever? I am BAKING again. My friends are most excited about this I suspect. I mean, don’t get me wrong. They like me too. But the food? Come on.
Now- I am in no way completely healed. As I mentioned above, over the last month or so I’ve been worsening. My pain has shot up again and my energy has lowered. But I hear this is common practice for the average healing process. But I am hopeful. And that is something I was not 6 months ago. I have faith. We still don’t really have any diagnosis. But what am I doing you may ask? Exactly what Elyon Williams tells me to do. For instance, I take a lot of supplements. But almost everything is natural.
If you’ve read my blog in the past, you will probably be aware of this naturopath/ DNA specialist I’ve been seeing. He does everything over the phone, through email and text, and sends you everything you need by mail. I have been under his care for almost 6 months. And I am so incredibly flabbergasted that what he is doing is actually working. If you are sick, and you can’t find a diagnosis, or anything to help, I highly recommend this type of care. Shoot me a comment and I will find you the information you need to get started. I am spreading this news like wildfire. I want everyone to find the advocate they need. Healthcare doesn’t make room for so many of us, that don’t fit into their rigid little boxes. I searched for an advocate for many years, all while being called fat, lazy, a liar, a drug addict and crazy. Finally I found it in this guy. This man who says “please don’t call me a doctor.” Whatever he is, whatever he does, its working way better than any western medicine I have tried over the years.
He has me on these pain patches that I swear are from heaven. I think God sent the angel Gabriel down on a unicorn and when no one was looking the unicorn pooped these out as a gift to the world. They are MAGICAL.
They are also Expensive. Like… $87 for 1 pack, which lasts me less than a month. But they are worth it because you start to remember what its like to be human again. To be a real, functioning, happy human being. Mind you, I don’t think the unicorn intended for people to have to pay for the patches, but we live in a cooperate society, so it is what it is.
In honor of this extremely exciting new situation, where i’m remembering life as it once was, I find I am trying to do absolutely everything at the exact same time. I try to write at the same time as I bake. I try to eat at the same time as I dance. When I’m journaling , I keep thinking that I wish I could do something else at the exact same time. I feel like there is not enough time in the day to make up for 10 years of forced sedetary lifestyle. I want to travel! Dance! Seattle anyone? I am SOOOO ready for life. So ready, that I’m forgetting to pace myself. I’m forgetting I’m still sick. And then next thing I know I’m trying to be normal and realizing I’m too tired to hold a conversation. Or those plans I just made are wearing me out just thinking of them. How is it I can genuinely want to go out and do something fun like scuba diving or dancing or just walking around a mall, but at the exact same time I just sit on the couch and wonder how it can possibly take this much energy to get off of it? I am two different people warring each other over the control of my atrophying body and spirit.
But I’m fighting hard. Even when I’m just sitting on the couch. Matter of fact…Especially when I’m just sitting on the couch. And when that doesn’t work, at least I have a back up plan.
Either way, I’m excited. And in honor of this excitement, it’s time to bake. Prepare your eyes folks. The recipes are coming, and I’m bringing chocolate back.