A lot of people have asked for an update on my health and where we stand with what has been ruled out for a diagnosis. In order to appease curiosities of my loved ones I have compiled a list as seen below of the diseases we have currently ruled out. Thank God, I find myself currently in the clear of the following diseases:
I do not have a twin growing inside my head in the form of a tumor with teeth. (This one was especially relieving)
Chlamydia and other such STD’s, including-but not limited to- crabs, genital warts and pregnancy.
Center abdominal Groin Strain
Male pattern baldness
Foreign Accent Syndrome (Although I have to admit I was hoping for this one, sincerely.)
Things we know I have:
Phronemophobia– (The fear of thoughts or thinking)
A serious case of virginitis despite the fact that I have been pricked more times than I can count. (by needles, of course. Get your mind out of the gutter)
A severe and often unstoppable shopping addiction.
Then general attraction to the wrong type of guy due to a disease called Collywobbles which creates the butterfly feeling in your stomach.
Witzelsucht Disease: A Rare diseases that causes the victim to make bad puns and jokes at inappropriate moments. From the German witzeln, meaning joke and sucht meaning yearning.
Thank you for all who are concerned, and I will continue to update you as my progress toward answers continues to grow. Also, I’m holding a contest to name my disease, since no one in the world seems to know what I have going on, I’m under the impression I’m the first of my kind. So my mom and I were sitting on the couch discussing possible names and I thought, why not put it to a vote? So lets hear your ideas!
Now onto the recipe shall we? I love this recipe because its so easy that even if you have collywobbles and witzelsucht disease blocking your chi, its easy to do. I make this all the time, even when I feel like crap its easy. I always double the recipe because I eat so much of it. I never get enough of this granola mixed with fresh berries and vanilla yogurt. Yum.
Oatmeal Cookie Granola – from Seriously Delish Cookbook.
Mind you, this recipe calls for mini chocolate chips which are WAY better as it evens out the chocolate throughout all the granola and it ads something nice to the texture. In the pictures, you can see I substituted regular size because it was 4 am and I couldn’t go to the store, but I WANTED THIS GRANOLA. So, anyway, here we are.
2 1/4th cups old fashioned
1 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup ground flaxseed
1 Tbsp. light brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup honey
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, browned if you want to add a nutty, sweet taste. Not a necessary step but it does add to the flavor. Your call!
2 Tbsp coconut oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup miniature chocolate chips
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, whisk together the oats, almonds, flaxseed, brown sugar, cinnamon and salt.
Heat a small saucepan over low heat and add the honey, brown butter, coconut oil, and vanilla extract. Stir until the liquid is warm and the ingredients are melted together. Remove the pan from the heat and pour the mixture over the oats. Stir it with a large spoon and coat and bring the mixture together. Spread it evenly over the parchment covered baking sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes, then use a spatula to toss the granola. Bake for another 10 minutes, then toss again. Bake for 10 minutes once again, tossing it twice during cooking time. This step makes it nice and crunchy. Remove from the oven once baked and let it cook completely before adding the chocolate chips.